| periods & pregnancy |
[18 Jun 2009|07:32am] |
so i was just wondering how many of you women have had your period during pregnancy? even if just the first month or first trimester.
i ask because this month, i had my period..it was a weird period..as it lasted for less than 48 hours, stopped completely, picked back up the next day for about 12 hours and then stopped..and my period was over. when i was bleeding it wasn't a lot lighter..it was like a typical period. minus the fact that i didn't have absolutely horrible cramps, more like a light cramp.
i looked up the "due date" if i were pregnant and it gives you the conception date based on your last period and based on my last period my conception date was 5/29. me and my boyfriend had completely unprotected sex on 5/29 and 5/30. this week[since monday] ive thrown up 5 times and been nauseated most of the days. my boobs don't hurt too bad, just every once and a while i have a little sensitivity & hurt just a bit.i have had horrible heartburn though. and very light cramping. my period ended on sunday..so i figured maybe my body was just still messed up but i dont understand whats going on? i test tomorrow morning but i was just wondering your advice/input.
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[11 Jan 2009|10:52pm] |
i dont post much anymore..sorry. i kind of forget about facebook.
2009 started AMAZINGLY.
i spent new years eve with my boyfriend, Justin.
We spent it at his church and it was actually pretty amazing.
they did a new years eve service..then a communion at midnight.
starting the new year with it.
it was perfect.
i still got my kiss at midnight.
then we went back to his house &played his wii & went to bed at like 3am because he said he wanted to spend as much time with me as possible before a i had to go home the next day.
We both decided that we aren't going to have sex anymore.
we have had sex before, yes..but for 2009 we haven't slept together & decided that sex should wait.
we both made a new years resolution together to become more involved in church and grow closer to God.
it is amazing because if you first rely on your relationship with Christ, everything else will fall into place.
I also made a new years resolution to get back into shape and his was to stop cussing & whatnot.
i've been spending a lot of time with him..i haven't said much in here about him so i'm sorry about that?
he's amazing, he's 9 days older than me. he's in the army national guard. he goes to iraq in october and when he comes back from iraq he's going to enlist fulltime in the army. his family loves me, as mine loves him.
i went to sargeant this past weekend with the family & he came along. and it was amazing. we went out on my dad's boat & went fishing. we caught 11 stingrays & two catfish..so nothing to take home but it was still fun. it was the first time any of us had caught a stingray haha! this is the first guy my dad has actually really really gotten along with..so i'm excited about that. he tells me he loves me & kisses my forehead. and its the cutest thing. he cooked for us this weekend.
it was so cute bc this weekend he was an ass a couple times..well..when he gothome we were talking and he apologized...
Justin Grandmont (1/11/2009 9:40:54 PM): Baby can I say something
brande k (1/11/2009 9:41:02 PM): okay.
Justin Grandmont (1/11/2009 9:41:40 PM): Im really sry for being mean this weekend. I let things bother me and I didn't mean to take it out on u
brande k (1/11/2009 9:41:51 PM): its okay baby.
Justin Grandmont (1/11/2009 9:42:01 PM): U 4give me
brande k (1/11/2009 9:42:08 PM): of course i do<3
Justin Grandmont (1/11/2009 9:42:13 PM): K ty
brande k (1/11/2009 9:42:17 PM): mhm
Justin Grandmont (1/11/2009 9:43:29 PM): Im sry k I don't ever wanna lose u
brande k (1/11/2009 9:43:40 PM): aw its okay baby, i dont ever wanna lose you either.
idk it made me smile. it was cute. :]
he makes me smile so easily.
and no matter what he does, i can't seem to stay mad at him.
he's far from whipped and doesnt let me 'walk all over him' and i love it.
he doesn't spoil me, and i love it.
he lives out in the country in a small house and its the cutest house and i love his house and his town and his church and his family & his friends.
idk. we are far from perfect as a couple and as individuals, but we compliment eachother. and i love it<3
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| heres to not updating anymore |
[23 Oct 2008|04:04pm] |
i started writing in a reg. journal..well..earlier this month, then i got on LJ to see how everyone was doing..when i realized i never updated anymore..so here is going to be a superlong entry with the entries i have written by hand in my journal. just to forwarn you now, being in california, i have tried things i should've stayed away from..im through with it all..but i just wanted to warn you of this now.
10/16/08
so i decided i should really start writing again, since i have been writing since i got into california. there is so much going on in my mind and i havent found anyone here i can really talk to about everything, so journal, i will confide in you. we will start with talking out the guy/relationship issues, mostly because they are what keeps me up at night. dustin is a sweetie and wants to be with me, but i never see him, and when he gets out of the marines, he wants me to move back to indianna with him..and im not so sure i want to leave california. when i couldn't stay at chelsey's anymore..he pretty much just said sorry, but brent has always had my back and always made sure i have somewhere to stay. when he holds me at night, i feel so safe. i love when he holds me. i dont know what it is about him. i have cheated on dustin numerous times with brent. and get brent doesnt get it, he doesnt realize how much i like him. the other day when i was at chelsey's, he told me he liked me too, but he was so fucked up he probably doesnt remember any of that conversation. this was the day he dropped acid.ive changed so much since i moved to california, but for the bestter. granted, i've done things i should've stayed away from. i dont regret any of it though. smoking pot still isn't something i love to do, but it gives you a good feeling for at least a little while. it tastes horrible though and burns my throat. smoking meth was easier..it tasted better and the feeling was way better. it didn't burn my throat either, but coming down from that shit was horrible. the worst feeling ive ever had, so im done with it. i tried acid a few days ago, and that, by far, was the best feeling of them all. it gave me a whole new outlook on life. it made me feel so carefree. it gave me a lot of perspective on life. me and brent are moving to riverside tomorrow. the turning of a page, the new start to a new adventure. we'll see how it goes. i think the nanny position fell through. i need a job. i need to get back on my feet and become financially stable again. enough playing around. i need to deal with the real world again. and i need to get back into the habit of writing in here, it always makes me feel better.
(later that night)I was reading in the first post secret book..this one secret and it made me realize exactly how i feel right now..it said "im starting to realize that all my problems cant be blamed on anything else but myself-only i can make my life what i want it to be and everyday my self control and self discipline fuck it up more and more"
(later that night)"i just want you to care. i wish you knew how much i care. i wish i wasnt so emotional because i cant tell you that you're the reason for my tears. do you even remember our conversation we had over myspace? when you told me that you liked me? i just wish that i could have this serious conversation with you face to face, but i have a strange feeling it will never happen. maybe im stupid and naive to the idea that you could actually like me. when in reality, you probably just want to get laid. maybe i forget at times when im around you that i have a boyfriend because i was around the guy i really wanted to be with. i do like you a lot, more than you realize. if only i had the courage to tell you to your face. i dont just want to be the girl you fuck. dont send me mixed signals. either like me or dont like me. dont just like me at night when we cuddle just because you have a cuddle buddy. the nights are easy because we cuddle and you hold me. its the days when you are a completely different person. if you dont like me like more than a friend, then fine, but dont lead me on believing that there could be something there, if there isnt. please just dont hurt me. thank you" if i could tell brent anything, this letter would be exactly what i would say.
(later)I'M NOT GOING BACK TO TEXAS. IM GOING TO MAKE IT IN CALIFORNIA. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. IF BRENT DOESNT WANT ME I WILL FIND A GOOD GUY WHO DOES WANT TO BE WITH ME. SOMEONE WHO WANTS MORE THAN JUST A FUCK BUDDY.
(later)I wish i wasn't dating dustin because i ahve a feeling brent isnt going to touch me now. I should really break up with dustin. why dont i feel guilty? what is it about brent that makes me like him and want him so bad? here we sit watching tv on his computer and yet all i can think about is how to bring up how i feel about him. i wish it was easier. he straight up asked me if it was him that i was thinking about, he gave me an open window and i didn't take it. what the fuck is wrong with me? i wish i could just pass him my journal to read about what i wrote about him, but i dont have the guts to do that. fuck i wish men were easier to understand. men are not simple, they are so complex! dont fuck with my mind. please? i just dont want to get hurt. i just want him to care. thats all, just actually give a shit.
10/17/08
so today is the start of our new adventure. today we leave escondido and head up to riverside. no place to go and no jobs lined up, but i guess we'll just have to figure things out. taking life one day at a time. i almost talked to brent last night, about how i feel..but i didn't. i went inside to go to sleep..he came in a couple hours later. we cuddled like we always do at night and ended up having sex. but we were super close..like in a spooning position and he was like holding me..it was nice. it was after sex that i was going to talk to him, but i didn't. we just went to sleep. i didn't figure it was a good idea to bring up my boyfriend after we had just had sex? i imagine that i will never..err..hopefully bring it up one of these days..soon. but im going to go read my book.
10/21/08
so brent went to jail on sunday night they found him with 24 xanax, his little snorter thing, wed, and his pipe..but i just got a call from andrew and found out brent is out. when he got arrested, i got so scared..and i started to cry..i didn't know what to do. every night since then, i haven't slept well at all. andrew took me and we stayed at liz's apartment that night. i was in such shock. i had never been searched before. and i had never watched someone get arrested right in front of me. on monday me and andrew went to the mall and he got me a pair of converse because the only shoes i had were flipflops. i finally got over my shock and realized i needed to get a job and get on my feet. I have an interview in tujunga tomorrow so hopefully that goes through. i'd have my own apartment and car and its up by LA so it gets me away from everything here. then i find out that brent is out of jail..i feel like i have taken a step backwards now because i dont know what to do. brent has always had my back and he wants to move to LA. part of me wants to take him because he's going to be stuck on his ass. maybe i should make him clean up. no more acid or heroine or coke or meth or xanax. smoking pot isn't a huge deal, but i'd like him to stop that as well. maybe i should give him like a week or two to find a job and if it doesnt happen, kick him out. he needs to straighten out his life..but its not going to happen until he wants to change. part of me wants to help him so much. i do believe in him. i do think he can be so much more. he wouldnt leave my apartment a mess, i wouldnt let that happen. im not sure if helping him is the right thing to do at this point though..i would have his computer then though! i guess we will just see how this job interview goes..i hope that deep down i dont just want to help him because i like him. even if i took him with me, it doesnt mean he would want to be with me, and i dont want him to constantly ask me for money for weed just because i have money. i dont need it to "feel good" and i dont like smoking it all the time. i dont know why i sit here and talk about brent all the time because i have a boyfriend. what about dustin? i dont want to go to indianna. i like california..i just need to get stable.dustin and i have been together for a month today and when i talked to him last night/this morning..he asked me if i would have his kids. wtf? maybe i should to go LA and leave everything behind-including brent & dustin and everyone i have met so far. idk..right now im staying with max and steven and they are both such sweethearts..and their cute little kitten. i dont think i want to forget them. or andrew and liz. they ahve been good influences on me-no drugs or smoking. so andrew is taking my to my interview tomorrow. wish me luck with that!
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[11 Apr 2007|10:07am] |
i started my period.
enough said.
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[08 Nov 2006|08:26pm] |
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bushisgonein08's journal